Getting Lazy

While some people when out to actually buy their dresses, Anne Hathaway decided to just cover herself with her fine luxury drapes. She's so clever, this one. I would totally do the same thing.

Here is Nicole Kidman wearing a chandelier around her neck. I don't know what happened here, but it looks like she waited the last minute to score some jewelry but the other actresses got the better pieces first. At least its on her and not on Angelina Jolie, because she would probably collapse again with all that weight on her neck.

My body heat just went from zero to eighty at the sight of this hot, dirty looking piece. He looks like the type that would slap my ass repeatedly and call me a dirty whore while fingered my ass and devours me with those sinful looking eyes. If he says the word "fuck" tonight I'm totally dead.

He Makes Me Nervous!

I had the biggest crush on Jason Bateman since that damn show "Just a Little More Love". It was in the 80's for those of you 18 and under. Anyway, he was one of those guys that was so smoldering, it makes you nervous just to look at him. Well the only thing that's changed is the time passed, because I still don't have the guts to look at this picture. It's that intense stare that makes you wanna say, "Get your eyes off of me!".

You Can't Always Look Glamorous

Jennifer Garner was house hunting in Venice Beach not too long ago, and I think she might have spent too much time with the hobo's there, because this is clearly out of the Hippie Haven collection. Either that or she's a fan of Helen Bonham Carter's fashions. Either way, this is simply not like my Jen. She usually looks so ravishing but she struck out this time. Where the hell is Ben Affleck?

Diaz Miho!

My favorite roach repellent, Cameron Diaz, is also gracing us with her gorgeous presence at the Oscars today. The dress is very basic and boring, and that hideous smile always scares the shit out of me. If I had the dough I would pay her to just keep her mouth closed. It's too much for me. It reminds me of all those evil clown nightmares I had as a child.

Clooney And His Mannequin

Here is George Clooney with his life sized doll, Sarah Larson. I hope and pray bore is not the one to win his heart. Just by looking at her I can tell she does exactly what she's told. If Clooney told her to jump, she will bring out the trampoline and say how high. Everytime I see her she just stands there and giggles like Japanese school children. Now that I think about it, this is probably exactly what George needs. He needs a dumb broad so that he can go out and do what he damn pleases. Go George!

Thar She Blows

Why, here is my favorite grumpy Latina, Jessica Alba, looking stunning in that purple frock she's wearing. Okay, what's wrong with me today? I need to find some fashion disasters, not decent shit. I hate it when celebs make me say nice things.

I Never Knew What Exactly He Was Cooking

But I know what's cooking between my legs right now, because Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is at the Oscars right now teasing me with a good time. I mean hot damn he's fine.

She Actually Does Not Look Creepy

BWAH! This is Meg Ryan at the Spirit Awards, and she actually looks kinda cute. Of course I love the glasses because they are just like mine, and girls that wear glasses rock.

It Still Looks Hot

Sorry for the lack of posts today, but I've been pulling my hair out trying to transfer this site to its own domain. That's right, I'm going for the big times. I'm sick of that "hooker" url and need a change, but it's proven to be a much bigger project than I thought it would be.

A big shout out to Ammo Bob for helping me out with all this. He has the patience of a saint to put up with all my stupid questions and hissy fits.

Anywho, Ellen Page won more than just an award today, but a hot smooch with that hot bitch Matt Dillion. That girl is 19 and he's like 100. That's okay though. It still looks hot. It actually sort of turned me on a little.

I Thought Vampires Can't Come Out in the Day

It's Amy Lee and her sexy boyfriend or something at the Grammys. She's looking a little "healthy" nowadays. Aren't vampires supposed to be svelty? Amy does look pretty for a chubby vampire. Her boyfriend has been hunting for some fattys for dinner, and it shows.

Stormy Daniels at the Grammys....WTF?

Stormy Daniels was also at the Grammy's today, because she was to give all the winners complimentary hand jobs, and for the ladies, some diddle twiddling action. Seriously, I have no clue why she was invited, but she looks great and I suddenly want her to jump on my face.

50th Annual Grammy Awards

Carrie Underwood thought to herself, that because this is the Grammy's, she had to literally dress like one. This is completely unacceptable! They sell that pattern at Anna's Linens! Whoever sold her that dress deserves a hair pulling.

Beyonce is mocking us. She thinks that we don't know that dress was at the sales rack in Charlotte Russe?? Nonsense poopypants! She can't fool me, and bitch forget to brush her hair. She needs to replenish her weave supply because this one looks more like those cheap wigs you buy at a Halloween store when you're trying to look for a Frankenstein Bride costume.

There is definitely something in the water when Fergie is the best in show. She looks absolutely fantastic!

Nelly Furtado needs to dye her hair back to brunette and she needs to do this now. She looks like a little muskrat and it's killing me to watch her hurt herself this way.