Lilo Butchers Marilyn Monroe

So, did they want us to see what Marilyn Monroe would look like when she's coming down from Gin and Crack?

Lindsay doesn't look one bit like Marilyn Monroe, but I guess this is a good excuse to see her naked. Not a bad body, but the freckles don't do it for me. It would be lights out, missionary only for me.

These pics are NSFW, so enjoy them while they're here. You can always go to The New Yorker to check out the full set.

Lilo Lighting It Up At The Ivy

This is what I don't understand. Why on earth do celebs eat outside at the Ivy and than pretend they don't want their picture taken? You can indeed sit inside you know.

Wasn't Lindsay trying to quit smoking? I see how well that worked.

Lindsay Lohan: You Fail

Lindsay Lohan has disappointed me. She has abused the coochie powers I have given her and got cocky, because for some godforsaken reason she thought she can scored with the likes of Adrien Grenier and Leonardo DiCaprio. This is blasphemy!

She's usually such a good little whore and I absolutely love her, but she has crossed the line by even thinking she can touch my Leo. She needs to stick with her own kind of trash. Leo is golden and he cannot be touched by anyone!

Lindsay Lohan was reportedly drinking vodka and champagne last night, but no word if TMZ was there to get all the action.

Source

Paris Speaks to Lindsay

The bitter rivalry between Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton has gone to a different level. Paris is literally speaking to Lindsay out of her ass.

"Lindsay recently tried to make peace with Paris, leaving voicemails explaining that she wanted to call a truce. But Paris refused to call back. Finally she responded in her usual classy way, The National Enquirer reports.

“She had her assistant call Lindsay and leave farting sounds on her voicemail,” an Enquirer spy claims."

Not a big deal to me. I think farting is a great way of interacting with people. I greet alot of my friends by farting. "Hi Cindy!" "Oh hey bitch, *pfffffffrrrrrttttttt*"

These two classy ladies are feuding because they both wanted Timbaland to work on their albums. BWAH! I doubt he would give either the time of day.

Those two should join Heidi on the list of people who have no business in the music industry.



Source: Popcrunch

A Little Splash of Orange

Here is Lindsay Lohan arriving at the 2008 Clive Davis Pre-Grammy party, looking nice and tangy. I mentioned earlier that I liked the dark hair better than the blond, but I think I'm going to take that back. No hair color is going to look right unless she dips herself into a barrel of turpentine to wash all that orange shit away.

Lohan is Back to Dark

Lindsay Lohan is looking good with the dark hair. It balances out the orange quite nicely.

Here she is shopping in Hell A for new boy toys. Well you know that's what she's doing. Scouring the streets of Los Angeles for fresh meat! You know that cooter is hungry again.

Lilo Shows Up For Traffic School

Here is one of my favorite hookers being responsible by showing up for traffic school. I'm just surprised she isn't wearing leggings for once.

There are also reports swirling all over the net that Lilo has reverted to her partying ways...very slowly of course. I'm telling you, addicts cannot be in that type of environment. It's hard enough to stay sober. She is asking for trouble again if she goes back to the lifestyle that put her in rehab in the first place. Whatever, I'm done feeling sorry for addicts. You're either on the bus or you're off and apparently she is on the verge of getting off. *tsk tsk*

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Lohan Falls of the Wagon...Again

Lindsay Lohan was caught drinking yet again Friday night at the Beatrice Inn, according the Daily News, where she also reportedly hooked up with Brody Jenner.

She was seen downing at least two vodka drinks that night, according to sources. "Lindsay is learning how to work through her addictions and, once in a while, she chooses to have a cocktail," says a friend, attempting to explain. "People overexaggerate her behavior when in fact on Friday night, many people commented to her on how composed she was."

I can totally relate to this. I quit drinking because I really was a drunk mess. Some people have no business touching alcohol and I was definitely one of those people. I went to a couple of AA meetings and than quit. I realized that I'm crazy as it is, and don't need the alcohol to help me in that department. Nowadays I'll have a drink or two if that, and call it a day. Hopefully this is the case for Lindsay.

If not, than good times ahead indeed. I've been hurting over here by avoiding Britney stories, so if Lohan can take her place, my fingers can start dancing happily on the keyboard again. No, I don't really think that!

Looks Who's Back and Ready to Feed

"Lindsay for Coco Chanel."

"Eat me!"

Dayum! Lindsay is showing us girls how it's done! Get some tail and show up to a premiere sporting the JF look. How dare she show up in that sexiness. Mothers of the world, hide your sons, husbands, and grandpa's! Lindsay is coming!

Lindsay Is The Most Excellent Person This Hour

Lindsay Lohan's bitch, Alessandro diNunzio, is reportedly butt hurt that he was one of three conquests Lilo had during her stay in Italy.

Right after she seduced Alessandra, she bounced and went right into the arms of Dario Faiella, and stayed with him for two nights.

"To be honest I felt a bit intimidated. I was with Lindsay Lohan. But I took off my clothes and we started to make love. And then it was just like two ordinary people making love. It was very passionate and intense and lasted for 1hours, maybe more."

"She adored kissing and never wanted to stop—no matter what we were doing. We had safe sex, and afterwards she cuddled up to me and we went to sleep."

"The next morning, Alessandro got up at 9am and got dressed. He said: "I had things to do. She told me, ‘Bye, I'll call you.'"

I love this girl!!! She played that little boy like a bitch! Usually its the girl crying bloody murder over some guy that swept her off her feet than ditched her whiny ass. Not my Lindsay, nope. She's smarter than that.

I wish girls would follow her example and have fun with their youth instead of getting knocked up and getting married at such a young age.

It was also reported that Lilo slept with him after six hours of meeting him. BIG DEAL! She hasn't beaten my record. Lindsay is still my hero, through and through. I seriously want to start a campaign and shit. Vote Lindsay: Pimptress Leader!

Read the rest of this inspiring article.

Lilo's Back!

"Orange you glad I'm back?"

As Britney Spears drives aimlessly around her neighborhood, another celeb has emerged! Thank the heavens for giving me someone else to talk about!

Lohan has arrived at JFK today from Italy. She was greeted by her father, who welcomed her with open arms.

Lindsay recently fell off the wagon on New Years Even, when she was seen chugging a bottle of champagne.

I don't know what's up with the tights, but the bitch better not be trying to bring back the 80's, because as an 80's child myself, I hated that style! If she starts wearing big beads and leg warmers I'm going to punch a baby!

Lindsay Falls Off the Wagon

TMZ caught Lindsay Lohan drinking a bottle of champagne on New Years Eve.

"Blair Berk, Lindsay's lawyer, told TMZ, "The good news was that Lindsay stopped herself that night, called her sponsor, and got herself immediately back on track. There is no magic cure here. The most unfortunate part of this is that Lindsay has to share her 'one day at a time' with the entire world."

Below is the video, but it's really no biggie. Alcoholics fall off the wagon all the time. Drinking is hard to stop, and it looks like Lindsay was taking the right steps once she realized what she did. All you can do is learn from the present and move forward. Hopefully the public won't crucify her too bad, but you know how we roll.

Lindsey and Dario Faiella

Here is my favorite hoochie Lindsay Lohan with actor Dario Faiella. Who is that guy anyway? Anywho, kudos to Lindsay for enjoying her youth and having a good time. She is doing what alot of us did at her age, myself included. At least she isn't getting pregnant, and leaving her kids at home while she parties all night (*cough* like Britney *cough*). I say this about Paris Hilton too! Most of you out there are dirty whores anyway, so quit throwing rocks in a glass house!

That's My Girl!!!

The above photo basically tells you what Lindsay Lohan has been doing all weekend. That's right folks, my favorite stretched out whore manages to impress me once again. The Daily Mail reports that Lindsay hooked with three men this past weekend.



From left to right are: Alessandro Di Nunzio, actor Eduardo Costa, and actor Dario Faiella.

Lindsey is my hero! I seriously love this girl. I remember doing the same thing back when I could look down and see my feet. Ah, memories.

I would totally bang Eduardo Costa, because I like old people. I don't know about the other two, because I don't like boys that are prettier than me. I would pay them alot of money to do eachother though, because I like watching cute boys have sex with eachother. Yes, I fancy the gay porn when I can't find decent videos of big breasted lesbians and men with big peens. Eat it.

Source: The Daily Mail

Lindsey's Latest Addiction

Lindsey Lohan likes to make the sexy time. ALOT. Former lover Riley Giles explained in an interview with News of the World that Lindsey humped him dry to achieve the same high she got while she was doing cocaine.


"Lindsay's definitely a nymphomaniac. She's wild in bed. We'd have sex a couple of times in the day and then go to it through the night."

"We once did it four times in a row straight. That was crazy. Lindsay was insatiable. She'd demand sex again and again. We'd go at it for hours. She'd have worn out most guys."

"He explained: "When you orgasm, your endorphins shoot up and it becomes a massive natural high. If you have an addictive personality like Lindsay you need that to replace the highs you got from taking drugs all the time. Sex became a key part of her recovery."

This probably explains why I was extremely horny after I quit doing meth. Seriously, I was one stretched out whore sitting on a pole. Anyway, Riley sounds like he's complaining. No wonder she dumped his ass. Lohan needs to start dating men and not these twinkies. I too have the sex drive of a 13 year old boy, and found much pleasure boinking pepaws than these 20 somthing's that were done fucking me before I knew they started.

Lindsey is a hero in my eyes. She must get tired of her ex lovers telling the media about her sex life, but at least they aren't saying she's a bad lay. If I were a celeb, that's what I would want to be known for.

Source: News of the World