It Still Looks Hot

Sorry for the lack of posts today, but I've been pulling my hair out trying to transfer this site to its own domain. That's right, I'm going for the big times. I'm sick of that "hooker" url and need a change, but it's proven to be a much bigger project than I thought it would be.

A big shout out to Ammo Bob for helping me out with all this. He has the patience of a saint to put up with all my stupid questions and hissy fits.

Anywho, Ellen Page won more than just an award today, but a hot smooch with that hot bitch Matt Dillion. That girl is 19 and he's like 100. That's okay though. It still looks hot. It actually sort of turned me on a little.

BUMP!

There is no question now whether Angie is pregnant. She was absolutely glowing at the Spirit Awards today with long time lover Papa Smurf. You see, I was trying to act like a serious reporter back there, and it goes to show I can never be serious about anything, even for dumb things like this.

I'm a little nervous for Angie and the fact she is carrying twins. That woman doesn't look like she can carry anything. It's no wonder she collapsed a few days ago, she's already starting to topple over.

On a serious note, nobody wears the pregnant quite like Angelina. J Lo only wished she looked this hot when she was knocked up.

Britney Speas Reunion With Sean And JJ

JJ: Save us, Sean!

Britney Spears has reunited with her chilrens today. Jamie Spears and a shrink have to be present for the visit at all times.

Well, I hope it goes well. I know how hard that must be to not be able to see your kids for so long. Hopefully she won't fuck it up this time.

Extended Sex and the City Trailer

Yes, I'm slacking big time with the blog lately, this I know. I will be here all day today, so dry your tears. Here is the Extended version of the Sex and the City trailer.

I cannot wait for this movie to come out. There are already talks of a sequel, and I don't know if I want to see fifty something's in a movie title that has "Sex" in at. Oh who am I kidding?! I'm totally down with the grammy's and pappy's!!!

Drunk...Again....

The above picture has nothing to do with Lindsay Lohan. It has alot more to do with me and how drunk I am. Therefore, this will be my first and last post today. That's it, I can't even think or type right now. Shut up, be glad I gave you the courtesy of telling you my mind is going to Mars right now.

Midnite Munchies

Jessica Alba is having twins. Now she can have two brown babies - KUTV

To call this extreme body building would be an understatement - The Fug

Aren't the children of Denise Richards too old to be sucking their thumb? - Pop Goes My Tongue

What would Britney Spears look like in 20 years? - WWTDD

Random chick gets to know what Lindsay tastes like - CelebSlam

Jason Wahler pisses of USC - Pop on the Pop

The Hilton sisters partying at Chateau Marmont - Teddy & Moo's

The Most Boring Sex Ever

A few clips from the Gene Simmons sex tape have leaked, and let me tell you, it left me wondering how he got 4600 women asking for more.

You can click here to watch it, but it's nothing to be excited about. When I first saw the screen caps, I thought he was boinking one of those real life sex dolls. Oh you know what I'm talking about.

After seeing the clip, I'm beginning to think that sex doll would have been a better lay than the blond in the video.

Watch while it's still up, because the lawyers representing Gene Simmons are beginning to send out the cease and desist letters. For once I agree with those stupid letters, because this shit should have never been leaked to begin with.

Source

Aaron Carter Arrested

Aaron Carter was arrested in Texas today for speeding. Police found two ounces of marijuana in his vehicle.

He is currently in jail until tomorrow, where a judge will be present for his arraignment.

What a dummy. Who does he think he is speeding in Texas of all states? Cops out there will fucking shoot you for GP and get away with it.

I can't get over the fact that Aaron is only 20. Based on what I'm seeing in the picture above, he looks like an old washed up toad that just finished a rehab stint. Even that's giving him too much credit.

Source: TMZ

I Hope Jennie Garth Kicked Shannon's Ass

Tori Spelling is coming out with a new autobiography, and in it she dishes on the set of 90210. One of my favorite parts:

On Shannen Doherty:
"Shannen had everything, but she could be arrogant and carefree. Jennie [Garth] was outspoken when she thought Shannen was out of line. Sometimes they got along, but there were explosions. Once they got into a fistfight."

"A night with [Shannen] meant going to the hottest club and drinking until the early hours. I knew she was a 'bad influence,' but I liked her anyway."

Street fight in the 90210! Now this was footage worth taking had TMZ been around at that time. I pray to all the gods that Jennie kicked her ass, but we all know Shannen probably won. That bitch can box! I always thought Shannen was annoying and bitchy, but she was the true star of 90210.

Source: Perez Hilton

Douche Gets Served

After three weeks of hiding, the douche nozzle that is Sam Lufti finally got served with a restraining order. The cops should have hired the paparazzi to serve him with the papers, because we all know they can find anyone in less than a day. *sigh* Do I have to think for everyone around here?

Sir Douche cannot email, call, or go near Britney's nor her parent's house. Hell, you know he isn't going to care. He's a sneaky little fucker and will do it anyway. They should have just sent him to another country, or to one of those third world prison's in Thailand. That'll show him. Actually, he'll probably be a pain in the ass there too and keep screaming "I AM SAM!" No, they should send him to the Pentonville Prison, where Blake Fielder-Civil is staying. That way they can feed drugs to Sam for a change.

Yikes, my fingers are trembling just writing about him. Sam is still being investigated for allegedly drugging Brit Brit.

Source: TMZ

Am I The Only One That Likes This Video?

So yeah. I was happier than a hooker in heat when I saw Paul Abdul's new music video of "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow". That's right, I said it. I immediately felt the urge to find my tights and leg warmers to sing and dance along to the music. Sue me.

Although Paula had her moments where she looked absolutely stoned, I thought the video was cute and fun. I wish Randy Jackson wasn't on the video though. I was cringing as I watched him pretend to play the guitar. Was that really necessary? I would have rather seen him play the air guitar. No, I take that back. Air guitar is something you should do privately in your bedroom half-naked.

Paula is supposedly not happy with how the video turned out. She says that she didn't think it was Heidi Montag bad, but she's trying to pretend it didn't happen. Nonsense Poopypants! You're right, it wasn't as bad as Heidi's video. Actually, there is no comparison, because there isn't a video on this planet that's as bad as Heidi's.

Source: MSNBC

Zzzzzzzz

This will be the last post for the night because I need to catch up on my Zzzz's. That's right, I'm giving myself the night off, damnit.

For the thousands and thousands of people who are not reading my blog, have a good night and not to worry, I'll be back on my usual schedule tomorrow night.

Till than, if you know of a job that pays well and will allow me to fuck around on my blog all day, drop me a line. Please let the prospective employer that I'm dingy and obnoxious and spend most of my day doing everything else but work. I'm also rude to customers, and overall one moody bitch. I am also tons of fun. I do all these things exceptionally well.

G'night.

Just Click It

I can only handle one Britney cookie shot a week - Dlisted

Steve-O challenges K-Fed to a rap battle - The Fug

Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden are model parents - I Don't Like You In That Way

And I thought my tattoos were hideous - What Would Tyler Durden Do

Jamie Lynn is starting to show - Popsugar

Xtina's enormous knockers get some air time - Drunken Stepfather

Pink and Carey really are best friends - Hollywood Rag

I never knew Shia had it in him - Oh No They Didn't

Hayden Panettiere for Candies - Just Jared

Jesse McCartney wants to date the Jews - Mollygood

Lilo is RAW

People wonder why Lindsay Lohan was at Monday Night Raw last night. In case you haven't heard, Lilo was rejected by two respectable hotties this past week, and what do you do when you can't afford a fancy dinner? You go to the WWE, which is a dick buffet full of men in tight briefs and bad acting skills.

Lilo underestimates the WWE. You can tell John Cena is wondering why he is taking pictures with a spotted leopard.

Match.com Guy Sighting

Holy Christ, I must have done something good today, because as I was adding a friend on Myspace, the Match.com Guy appears! Oh sweet angel of mercy with grace like morning, won't you wrap your loving arms around me? Won't you kiss me and sweep me off my feet?